The Value of having a “Life Dynamics Mentor” in Your Life
In the last 15 years of my life, I have had many mentors (Mostly Indirect) and a few Direct. Indirect is just a way of following the perceived path of someone who you inspire to be like; and then listening to all of their books, audio recordings, seminars, mastermind lessons and the like. It’s a weird proposition because you are playing a real sum game from the sidelines. One of the greatest lessons my mentor taught me was that “Life Is a full contact sport”
You are either in the game of life or you are on the sidelines. Given, that level of discernment I was always frustrated with my level of participation. I just didn’t have the $1000, $3000, $5000, and sometimes more buy-in to get into these circles and level of up. I thought like many of you that if I could just get into one of these programs the game would change forever. Why? Because we wanted to do what all “successful people say when they are pitching or promoting a product: Take action, take massive amounts of action, and then take more action.
From my experiences it was all about taking deep enough risks that would place me in the right place at the right time. I needed a long-term approach to the game of “Success”. I was tired of spending hundreds of hours reading books, networking, joining MLM’s, cold calling people, writing, and selling just about anything I could get my hands on without any real results.
Did I learn anything in all of those experiences absolutely? I learned that I needed a “Lifestyle Mentor” but couldn’t put this framework into words. I am not talking about lifestyle in terms of traveling, health consciousness or dieting. I was ok with all of those important ideologies but not with balancing my family, generational curses, job loss, failing businesses, a marriage, multiple children and mental health. I needed an individual with “lived experience” someone who has been through similar experiences with real outcomes.
Lived Experience: On the “Road Less travelled” you need someone who can enhance and develop your self-confidence in a very relatable way. Someone who can inspire you to develop your own vision of leadership and service over a protracted period of time. It’s similar to a pocket professor long after you have graduate college.
The beauty of the entire experience places you as professional you learn the value of living in a relationship building mode. Your mindset changes to where you are not skipping off conference to conference shaking thousands of hands without any real substance. Mentoring relationships in addition operate in academic, vocational, and psychosocial settings even through a person’s midlife crisis.
Lessons in Divine Timing: I can’t stress how many times I was the right person at the right time but with the wrong tools. My life, business, and public persona felt like a slot machine at times I just never knew what three items would pop and or if I would win at all let alone the “Jackpot”. What I needed was guidance around how to think Decade to decade and the importance of knowing what season I was operating in my life at any given moment. How many people do you know plant seeds in the harvest season?
As a millennial operating from this microwave generation (Instant oatmeal & popcorn); I always assumed success should not take that long if I just kept working longer and harder like I seen my father do. And what did that get me “Career Burnout”. I had no patience and or guidance as how I should process these difference seasons & emotions in my life. What I learned was that I lacked a viable long-term mentor that could show me my blind spots. Now, that I look back on it If I would have had the right tools (Business Almanac) or an understanding the times I would be potentially +$500,000 to the good.
The Presence of Mind: I remember watching a sermon from Bishop T.D. Jakes the Senior Pastor of “The Potters House” on YouTube. It must have been about 2–3 three years ago. As you know Bishop T.D. Jakes has written many books (Recently “Don’t Drop the Mic”), produced movies (Jumping The Broom) and put on some of the world’s greatest conferences (namely Women Thou Art Loose & Megafest). However, I was taken back about a conversation that he said he had with General Colin Powell.
He explains that he had a conversation with General Colin Powell, where he was worked up, heart beating out of his chest and frustrated with a few issues surrounding his kids, business and different affairs. He was looking for some sound advice and was shocked as to why General Colin Powell kept his calm demeanor throughout his spill. And with the Presence of Mind, General Colin Powell said “Its Just a Step”
Now, when you are Bishop T.D. Jakes mentor that is saying something; given he is a Pastor, Bishop, Therapist, Teacher, Businessman, Husband, Father, Brother and all the many others hats that he wears.
At the heart of it, having a Lifestyle Dynamics Mentor is what personal growth and development is all about. The more you can value that Long-term strategic relationship the more you will be able to open up your life to greater experiences. You will clarify your why? You will challenger old and outdated assumption about life and break out of that comfort zone. The more you can see the value in a Life Dynamics Mentor the more you will be able to make a real difference in the world and attract the kinds of opportunities that transforms your life experiences for the better.
